#im writing this while trying to hold bqck tears
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I'm gonna have like a full on panic attack in a second I hate this fucking city to much after like 1 am
#i almost ran over a guy bc he was on the fucking bike lane and ge grabbed me (just like for three seconds on my back and chest) and I am#litterally sittin gon the stairs at home rn still fucking feeling that touch and wanting to cringe away from my own touch on the verge of#tears and a panic attack#i can't fucking#i even cringe awqy from my dad wanting to touch my soulder like 40% of the time#and i when like half of my colleagues touch my hips/shoulxers for a sec (which im fine with btw) i will have a moments freeze bc like#i dknt#i dont want to be touched#kyle.txt#anywyas yeah#delete later#personal#anywyas the guy was also obviously drunk but like please dont do that leave me alone#i also haven't slept well i months so my mental state is really on the verge of collapse like 80% of the time so that makes it so much#harder to handle and idfk#im writing this while trying to hold bqck tears#anywyas im a bit better now but still i feel that fucking touch and i can't handle it rn#that was the exact wrong thing to happen right now#the only reason im coping rn is bc im listening to the sound of music which is mt all time comfort movie/soundtrack#which i was already listening to bc its been bad the lsst feq dya
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